hell hath no fury like a frother scorned

ATTENTION STARBUCKS EMPLOYEES:

Microfoam is a byproduct of heating milk with a steam wand on an espresso machine. The quality of microfoam is actually a very fine emulsion of denatured milk protein and air, that has little or no visible bubbles. The qualitative opposite of microfoam is macrofoam, which has visibly large bubbles.


this is what cappucino foam should look like. dense, v. small bubbles, and should float a beer bottle cap. it should not burn the crap out of your mouth. the coffee should be thick but smooth and rich.

to make the perfect foam, place more milk than you will need into the pitcher (to ensure you have enough time to make sufficient foam before it all scalds), submerge the steamer wand and turn on the steamer. immediately start moving the pitcher up and down, alternately submerging the the wand and then drawing it back up just under the surface until you hear the sound of the milk foaming. continue bouncing the pitcher, keeping your hands on the outside to feel for the temperature increasing. if it's too hot for you to hold, it's too hot for someone to drink. (duh @$^$%@!) keeping the wand near the surface of the milk creates the thickest, largest amount of foam. as soon as the sound of the wand in the milk starts to change, you have begun to alter the chemical composition of the milk and it's DONE.

a cappucino has more foam than a latte. basic basic basic.

where can a girl find a decent cup of coffee in this town??!! despite caffeine-induced hopes dashed by chain and independent coffee shops alike, after terrible tongue burns from poorly trained baristas who try to save time by leaving the milk for a cappucino under the steamer screaming worse than jodie foster's lambs, while they just push a button to pour shots.... there are a few phoenix establishments that actually know how to make the perfect foam.

• drip: 7th street & sheridan ... might take a while to get to you because the staff is all so neighborhood and friendly, but with the kicky atmosphere you won't mind hanging around a while.
• paisley violin: grand avenue ... i'm only bitter because their move last year put them outside of stumbling distance from my house.